In The Land of Redmond Where The Shadows Lie...

Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were
talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows XP on my PC. I
told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the
Windows XP CD. To my surprise he threw it into my microwave oven and
turned it on.

Instantly I got very upset, because the CD had become precious to me, but
he said: 'Do not worry, it is unharmed.'

After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: 'Take a
close look at it.'

To my surprise the CD was quite cold to hold and it seemed to be heavier
than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of
the central hole I saw an inscription, an inscription finer than anything
I had ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet
remote, as if out of a great depth:

12413AEB2ED4FA5E6F7D78E78BEDE820945092OF923A40EElOE5IOCC98D444AA08E324

'I cannot understand the fiery letters,' I said in a timid voice.

'No but I can,' he said. 'The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the
language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common
English this is what it says:

One OS to rule them all,
One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all
and in the darkness bind them.

It is only two lines from a verse long known in System lore:

"Three OS's from corporate kings in their towers of glass,
Seven from valley lords where orchards used to grow,
Nine from dotcoms doomed to die,
One from the Dark Lord Gates on his dark throne
In the Land of Redmond where the Shadows lie.
One OS to rule them all, one OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,
In the Land of Redmond where the Shadows lie."

Thanks to John who sent me this hilarious text.